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Sunday, October 24, 2021

8 From the 80s: Slasher Movies With Memorable Killers

Each installment Mike will look back to the decade of decadence and provide a list of eight things – from movies to music to memorable moments and everything in-between.  Keep in mind, this isn’t a TOP 8 list and any numerical notations are included to merely designate one item from another. Because, frankly, how can rate one thing over another when it came from a decade as totally tubular as the 80s?

Slasher Movies With Memorable Killers*
* That aren’t Jason, Mike or Freddy 

The Prowler
Look at this guy – as if being attacked by a guy in combat fatigues and a helmet isn’t enough, he’s got a damn bag on his head so you can’t see his tears of embarrassment over looking like such a schlub.  

Now THIS dude… this dude I would be worried about.  Sure, he looks a little like a feral Chaka from Land of the Lost, but he’s burly and has a big axe, so not only will he out-power you, he’ll easily sever a limb or two.

Nail Gun Massacre
This guy took one look at The Prowler and thought “If I wore a motor cycle helmet I would look 100 times better”.  Add on a tank of pressurized air to power his nail gun and you can see why he’s raising his hands in triumph.

The Burning
Holy crap!

Silent Night, Deadly Night
Nothing is more terrifying than the image of beloved Kris Kringle with a truly deranged look in his eyes as he chases you while wielding an axe. Who’s been naughty THIS year, hmmm?

Don’t Go in the Woods Alone
Now, I’m not saying this guy wouldn’t scare the living hell out of me if I was in the woods he popped up, but… seriously, what look was he going for?  And why does it look like he’s got a Muppet impaled on the end of his stick?

Slumber Party Massacre
The only one on this list that doesn’t have some type of “look” that he’s trying to go for is probably one of the scariest.  He’s wearing an outfit I think I owned in the 80s but he’s got a gigantic power drill and has the most insane look on his face. Honestly, if someone was going to go on a co-ed killing spree, they would probably look like this dude.

My Bloody Valentine
All joking aside, the killer in My Bloody Valentine is pretty damn impressive.  It’s a little Prowler-y, a little Nail Gun-ish but the goggles and mask give him an almost inhuman look.  The headlamp can blind you and that pick-ax just seems more violent looking than a regular tree-chopping axe. 

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